Battling Blondes: Round 2 - Femme Fatales

Last time on Battling Blondes, we ended in a tie between our contestants, The Web and The Thunderbolt. Once more we're using a four point grading system: 1.) Story Drama, 2.) Imaginative Use of Abilities, 3.)  Adversary, 4.) Intangibles that Worked. For Round 2, we introduce two femme fatales!

We now present Mighty Comics #45 amd Peter Cannon...Thunderbolt #51:

We've previously been introduced to Web's true arch-enemy, his mother-in-law! Mama Hardy truly is the epitome of ruthlessness as she is doggedly determined to ruin the career of Professor John Raymond, M.D.! Yet she is not the only ancient evil brunette menacing mankind...there is also Princess Evila!!! Revived after centuries if immobility thanks to the machinations of Thunderbolt's recurring nemesis, the Hooded One, she now uses her own indomitable will to create a tide of criminal activity to styme Peter Cannon. Who is stronger, the mommy or the mummy?

When faced one-on-one with these potent practioners of evil, our boys realize they are in BIGGGG trouble: The unearthly gaze of these haunting paralyzing pupils! GET OUT OF MY HEAD you beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butchers. Un-trust... ing. Un-know... ing, Un-love... ed? Uh...huh?!?

Best to have a brief interlude in the story at this point to helps the Dudes reassess how they became THE BATTLING BLONDES to begin with!

Deep thinking young men confronted by other young men with potential yet bent toward a different path leading to a conflict between the two pairs forevermore.


Now back to the battle of wills with the horrible hags. Can these chicks get under a guy's skin or what? Looks like the bachelor has it all over married man in vanquishing his egotistical estrogenic enemy decisively!

Battling Blondes Rating

1.) Story Drama: Web's story is plain goofy as par for the course. Still, Thunderbolt's tale isn't a masterpiece of storytelling either. However, thanks in no small part to story length of T-Bolt's 20 pages to Web's 3 (he was hamstrung between features, this issue) plus a couple challenges faced by the former, this one goes to Pete.

2.) Imaginative Use of Abilities: Thunderbolt's reverse polarity of pulsating psyche to turn his foe into an elderly hag and out of the picture. And Web's...ummm...groveling at the feat of his own hag-in-law? No contest. Pete wins this hands down!

3.)Adversary: As far as raw power Princess Evila seems to have the upper hand, swaying the criminal community and reviving her once legendary infamy. However, she was a one-hit wonder while Rose's Mama Hardy would return for further bouts and held her own against costumed foes (see Madman). Yet at the end of T-Bolt's tale, Tabu reflects on the restoration formula and that Evila spelled backwards is Alive! Would she return one day? A big question mark in the last panel seems to indicate this.Until we see this story, John's foe helps him claim this category.

4.) Intangibles that Worked: A picture is worth a thousand words. Peter Cannon definitely has it where it counts in the multi-faceted skill set of all non-powered action heroes.

Johnny will eventually take on crocodiles of his own, although he'll do so aided by his pals he Mighty Crusader and the crocs in question are Crusaders! For THIS story, Pete takes this as well!


This round concludes with Thunderbolt winning 3 to 1! We may eventually have to jump ahead past the silver age of comics to give Web a fair chance, though there might be a surprise or two in store before we get that far in our epic Battling Blondes! Next up is Round 3: Cover Boys!

Battling Blondes: Round 1 - Mental Madmen

Deriving inspiration from the gents at Threadmill with their Scaled-Down Smackdowns, we're incorporating our own version here featuring our favorite blonde bombshells: The Web and The Thunderbolt!

We'll incorporate a four point grading system in each battle: 1.) Story Drama, 2.) Imaginative Use of Abilities, 3.)  Adversary, 4.) Intangibles that Worked. As a jumping on point, we'll consider two silver age tales.

The Web in "The Mad Caper of the Madman" from Fly-Man #38:

Our story opens with the Web stumbling on the crime scene of the Acro-Bats, henchmen of the Madman, and dealt them a crushing blow:

After a glorious victory against this quirky gang, Web finds a closet at the University where Professor John Raymond is employed to change into his civilian identity...and proceeds to find himself locked inside! After vigorously pounding on the door for hours, a cleaning lady opens the door. Johnny races home, thinking he'll only face his mad wife, and then we are introduced to the REAL villain of the piece...his Mother-in-Law!!!!

John regales the gals with tales of past victories against his rogues::

Thunderbolt in "Beware the Cobra" from Peter Cannon, Thunderbolt #56

Our second story starts as it normally does with T-Bolt, in his civilian identity of Peter Cannon, free-lance journalist, discussing world affairs with his man-Friday, Tabu. They recall Pete's recent rogues gallery:

Meanwhile, a new villain, the Cobra, appears on the scene using his own mind-controlling technique to kidnap various prominent intellectuals in society, selling them to the highest bidders in the underworld:

Madman trails the Web back to John's home, intent on turning the Raymond  insane using his special pistol. Thunderbolt trails the Cobra's henchmen back to his base, but Cobra use his own pistol against Pete to weaken his will, making him fall prey to his pet, an actual King Cobra!

However, neither villain can contend with the superior willpower of Thunderbolt and...Rose Raymond and her mom! The audacity of it all!

Whereas Madman succumbs to his own weapon, turning into a raving manic, Cobra's fate is more dire as he's bitten by his own deadly pet! And so ends the  brief careers of two malignant malefactors of the mind!

Battling Blondes Rating

1.) Story Drama: No contest! Thunderbolt beats Web hands down in this category. Oh sure, being locked in a closet with the tension of a vicious attack of henpecking on the horizon is pure drama, the drama of Pete racing against the clock to tracki down Cobra was far more gripping.  For Cobra has in his thrawls a physician  who was the only specialist able to treat a child in critical condition! The category isn't "Story Comedy"..

2.) Imaginative Use of Abilities: Thunderbolt's will power matched against the Web's criminalogist training and resolve seem evenly matched. However, John wins this category thanks to his creative use of a trash can...oh and the way his ladies wield a wicked umbrella and mirror.

3.)Adversary: Both Cobra and Madman have the madness inducing thing going for them. However, the overall scheming of Cobra...kidnapping victims which he then sells to the highest bidder...seems a bit more high-brow then Madman's fairly typical "send my henchmen to rob the local S&L" kinda thing. Kuddos to Cobra! As a side note: while Web's earlier foes were more colorful, Thunderbolt's were far more imaginative.

4.) Intangibles that Worked: Again, John's wife and mother-in-law really made the story while Pete's butler Tabu really only served to get the plot moving towards the beginning. At least for this story, props to Web.

This round ends in a tie..thanks only due to Rose and Mama-in-Law. Athletcally and intellectually, it would seem our pair of crime fighters are evenly matched (ancient Tibetan rolls not withstanding). Will other adversaries or intangibles tip the balance one way or another in this epic battle? Will the Web's  story drama get amped up to compete with Pete Moresi's masterful plotting of T-Bolt? This we shall discover in later rounds. See you then!!!